Smurfing to a Different Beat
by Azura Nagomii
Summary: does vanity's 'coming out of the closet' bode well with the other smurfs? Not if Hefty has anything to say about it. I'm sorry I haven't been working on this fic in a while. But I will try to get ch. 4 up as soon as I have the time and I get out of this t
1. Vanity's Secret

Disclaimer: I do not in any way own the smurfs… they own me XD

"_Smurfing to a Different Beat"_

Smurfette sat up in bed, the night air wafting through the open window. She could hear Hefty's deep breathing from next to her. She sighed. It was now or never. "Hefty?"

"Heh, wha?" Was the groggy reply.

"Do… do you love me?"

At this question, Hefty perked up. "What the fuck kind of question is that! Go back to bed." And he fell back to sleep.

Smurfette sighed again and got up. She slipped back on her clothes and left Hefty's hut to search out Vanity. He always knew how to cheer her up.

When she reached Vanity's hut, she heard moans and exclamations from inside. "V-Vanity?" She opened the door slowly, peaking in. "Vanity!" She opened the door all the way to find Vanity and Brainy in a very peculiar situation.

Brainy and Vanity exchanged glances, then Vanity said with a nervous smile, "Uh… I can explain this."

But before Vanity could say anything else, Smurfette fainted dead on the spot.

Smurfette moaned, finally regaining consciousness. Suddenly she shrieked, sitting up quickly. "Where am I!"

A startled Brainy smurf sat down besides her, taking her hand. "It's okay Smurfette, you're in Vanity's hut. You fainted and took a pretty nasty bump to your head."

"So it wasn't a dream… you and Vanity are… are…"

"Yes, Vanity and I are gay…"

"But… why didn't Vanity ever tell me…?"

Brainy made a sidelong glance out the window where Vanity waited impatiently. "Well… he's very… secretive of his alternative lifestyle…"

"Are there any other gay smurfs?"

Brainy was startled for a second, then shook his head. "No… none that I know of…"

"Why is Vanity keeping this a secret?"

"Don't be naïve Smurfette… what would the others think? Besides… Vanity doesn't like to talk about it…"

"But… I'm his friend…"

"We both know that, Smurfette… now let me help you up."

Smurfette took Brainy's hand and he lifted her out of the bed."

"No wonder…"

"No wonder what?"

"No wonder you were never as heart-struck for me as the other smurfs in the village. And to think, I thought you were just too busy with your studies to care for me."

"Well, that's not true Smurfette. I'm never too busy for my friends."

"That's good to hear, Brainy." Smurfette kissed him on the cheek.

Vanity stood up when Brainy and Smurfette came out of his hut. "Well?"

"Well, what?" Brainy looked at his worry-wracked lover in puzzlement.

"She's not going to tell is she!"

"Of course not Vanity, I'd never do that to you. You should know better than that… you're my friend."

"Okay… if you ever told anyone I would never talk to you ever again!"

"Don't worry, Vanity, your secret is safe with me."

"Good, come Brainy let's go to that smurfy cavern you showed me the other day." Vanity took Brainy's arm and tugged him along.

"Good day, Smurfette." Brainy waved to her as they left.

"Good day."

"Hey Smurfette, I see you've been hanging around with Vanity again," Hefty said as she watered the flowers surrounding her hut.

"Yah, so what if I was?"

"You've been going to his hut a lot. Any particular reason?"

"No, I just like talking to him. Now if you will excuse me Hefty, I have some things to do inside."

Hefty placed his arm in front of the door, preventing her from going in. "Don't smurf with me Smurfette. I know what's going on. I wasn't smurfed yesterday."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"What does he have that I don't? Does he have a bigger smurf than me?"

"Hefty!"

"What is it Smurfette? Huh?"

"It's nothing!"

"Nothing? Or something?"

"You're insane! He wouldn't steal me from you even if he wanted to!"

"What?"

"Nothing… it's nothing…"

Smurfette was about to leave when Hefty grabbed her arm. "Tell me you smurfing…"

"Let me go, Hefty! Wait, what are you doing!"

Hefty began to drag her in to her hut. "I'm going to have a little 'smurf' with you."

"No… **No**… NO!"

"Oh, Smurfette, where are you? I found some smurfy wild flowers that I would know would looks smurfy in your hut," Vanity chimed, knocking on Smurfette's door. When there wasn't any answer he began to get worried. "Smurfette…?"

He slowly opened the door and peeked in. The place was a mess. Furniture and other of Smurfette's belongings were strewn on the floor. Usually, Smurfette keeps her hut nice and tidy.

That's when he heard a soft weeping sound coming from the bedroom. "Smurfette…?"

"Vanity…!"

Vanity walked in to her room and gasped.

Smurfette was sitting next to the bed, her clothes torn to the point to of rags and black and blue marks marred her face.

"Oh Smurfette, what happened to you!" Vanity knelt down beside her, wiping the tears from her face.

"Oh Vanity… I'm so sorry… Hefty came… he… he made me tell… oh Vanity… please forgive me!"

Vanity backed away from her in shock and terror. "No… Smurfette tell me you didn't… please…"

"Sorry Vanity, but she's telling the truth."

Vanity spun around gasping. "Hefty!"

"The one and only…" Hefty grabbed vanity the shoulders and bashed him against the opposite wall.

Vanity groaned sitting up only to find his nose was bleeding.

Again Hefty picked up the helpless smurf and punched him in the face, the bone and cartilage In Vanity's nose collapsing under the pressure.

Blood spurted from his nose and Vanity cried out in pain, clutching his face in his hands.

Hefty threw him to the ground, ignoring Vanity's plees of mercy, and began kicking him in the stomach and face. With every kick, Hefty's foot came back more bloody.

"Hefty, please stop!" Smurfette grabbed his arm. "Please… for me?"

Hefty didn't look up but backhanded her away. "Get away from me you smurfing wench!"

Vanity tried to crawl away but Hefty grabbed him by the leg and twisted it hard.

Vanity cried out in pain and shock.

"Where do you think you're going, Vanity? I'm not done with you!" Hefty lifted Vanity by the hair and bashed him face first in to the wall.

Suddenly, Vanity heard the sound of a door slam and the unmistakable sound of Brainy's voice chanting something and then comforting darkness.

"Oh Brainy, what if he never wakes up?"

Brainy looked down at the beaten and bloody Vanity on the floor. "Don't worry, Smurfette, I'll smurf up a spell that will make it all better."

"What about Hefty…?"

The two looked down at the unconscious Hefty. Brainy had smurfed a sleeping spell on him.

"Don't worry about him. I'll see to it, he gets what he deserves."

**To be continued until next chapter…**


	2. Hefty's Banishment and Voy For Revenge

"_Smurfing to a Different Beat: Ch 2"_

"Hefty, for the attempted murder of Vanity Smurf, I sentence you to 350 years to exile!" Papa smurf declared, knocking the gravel on the podium.

Gasps and murmurs erupted through the crowd. How could Hefty do such a thing, and why?

"Fine…! But you'll regret this!"

"That's quite enough out of you, Hefty. I can't believe you could do such a thing. Smurfs have always learned to live in peace."

"Not when there's a smurfing 'SMURF' in the village!"

Another wave of gasps rippled through the crowd.

"Take him out of my sight!"

Grouchy and Greedy grabbed Hefty by the arms and dragged him out of the conference room.

Hefty glared at Vanity as he passed and whispered in his ear, "I'll smurf you, Vanity… when you least expect it."

Vanity gasped, burying his face in to Brainy's chest.

In the week that followed Hefty's exile Vanity had to put up with smurfs strange looks and murmurings. He hated that people knew his secret especially with the taunting and teasing that he had to endure. When ever he would go where other smurfs were, they would always come up with excuses to leave. It was all too much to bear.

One day Brainy and Vanity were walking together hand in hand when suddenly Jokey bounced up to them.

"Hey Brainy, I wouldn't be walking with Vanity if I were you, he might get smurf on you!" Jokey cackled with joy and he was off.

Vanity sighed. "Oh, Brainy, I can't stand it anymore! I could just smurf myself!"

"No, Vanity, don't do that." Brainy hugged Vanity and held him close to him. "I have a plan… you'll see…"

Brainy stood on the announcing mushroom before the entire smurf village. "My fellow smurfs, I have an important announcement."

"You're not going to recite a Brainy quote are you? I have better things to do!" Handy complained.

"No… it's more important…"

The crowd gasped. Something more important than one of his quotes…?

"Yes… you all know about Vanity being… gay…."

The crowd grew silent at that word. Never before has anyone ever said it aloud… and in front of people too.

"Well, I think it's very unsmurfy the way you're all treating him. What if Papa smurf were gay? Would you treat him any different? Is not Vanity the same smurf we've known ever since birth? What is wrong with you smurfs! What if Greedy was gay? Would you stop eating his pastries; or farmer…? Would you stop eating his vegetables?"

"I would even if he weren't gay!" Snappy, one of the smurflings, piped up.

A wave of nervous laughter rippled through the crowd.

"What of me? Would you treat me differently too...?"

"But Brainy… you're not… gay…"

"That's where you're wrong my dear smurfs… Vanity and I… we are lovers… and I'm not ashamed to admit it…"

"Brainy… and Vanity…?"

"Who woulda' thunk it…"

"Maybe he's right…"

Suddenly Papa smurf climbed on to the announcing mushroom. "My little smurfs, Brainy is right. We must treat Vanity with respect and love that we would any smurf. Being gay does not change anything. Don't end up like Hefty."

At this last sentence there came a wave of murmuring from the crowd.

Suddenly Sassete piped up. "I will Pappy smurf!"

"Me too…!" Snappy, Slouchy and Nat agreed.

"I will too, Papa smurf," Clumsy chimed in.

Suddenly the whole crowd erupted with exclamations of redemption and repents.

"Oh thank you everyone" Vanity exclaimed, joyfully.

Brainy and Vanity embraced one another. "My dear Vanity," Brainy said, just before kissing him.

Hefty watched the whole scene, hidden from view, in disgust. "I can't believe it! Those fickle smurfs… they'll do whatever they're precious Papa smurf tells them to. Well, just because the crowd has accepted Brainy and Vanity's gayety doesn't mean a thing. I'll kill him… and Brainy… And then Smurfette," he chuckled. "You'll make a fine gift for Gargamel" He laughed maniacally.

"Oh Azrael, what are we going to do? We've run out of food and I haven't a penny to my name."

"Mreow!"

"It's all the fault of those damn smurfs!"

Just then there was a knock at the door

"Who could that be? It had better not be a tax collector!" When Gargamel opened the door there was no one there except for a tiny piece of paper. It was a note. "Dear Gargamel, I have a proposition to make with you. Meet me at the Great Oak and I will give you what you want; signed Hefty Smurf." Gargamel looked at his cat in shock. "Do you think this is a trap Azrael?"

Azrael shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, whatever it is, it's worth checking out. Come Azrael."

When Gargamel reached the Great Oak, they found Hefty resting on the tree trunk.

"Well, smurf, explain yourself. Why are you so willing to betray you're fellow smurfs?"

"They betrayed me first! I want revenge."

"What is it I get in return?"

"Smurfette on a silver platter."

"Too small, I want them all!"

Hefty thought it over then smiled. "Deal; but leave Brainy and Vanity to me!"

"Very well, smurf it's a deal."

Hefty and Gargamel shook on it. "Meet me back here tomorrow and I'll show you to the smurf's village."

"That fool, once I have the smurfs in my clutches I'll take him as well!" Gargamel cackled as he and Azrael walked back to his shack. "That fool smurf won't see what hit him!"

**To be continued until next chapter…**


	3. Final Confrontation Between Hefty and Br...

**Warning Extreme fondling, foreplay, and slashyness ahead **

"_Smurfing to a Different Beat: Ch. 3"_

Back in the smurf village, everyone was abuzz with good news. Vanity and Brainy were to become mates for life. This was a momentous event for the smurfs and they wanted to make sure everything was perfect.

Greedy was baking delicious treats, tailor was making the ceremonial outfits, Handy was making a new hut for the new couple, and Smurfette was helping to decorate. None of the smurfs realized the danger that awaited them the next day.

While everyone got ready, Brainy and Vanity were in the smurfy cave. Crystals shined everywhere they looked. And the silence was sheer bliss.

Vanity rested against Brainy's chest, taking in the full beauty of the cave. But, he realized, nothing could compare to the beauty he saw in his lover. His gentle hands, his charm, his glasses that made him all the more alluring… everything about him excited him. No other smurf, besides himself that is, made him feel so whole and complete; that made him feel like he did now. With Brainy, he felt safe. Vanity nuzzled up closer to Brainy, purring like a cat, and as subtle as he could be, he slowly slipped his hand in Brainy's white trousers.

Brainy turned a bright crimson and chuckled. "My, Vanity what's gotten you so frisky? Shouldn't we wait until after our bonding ceremony?"

"Oh no, Brainy… I couldn't possibly wait that long." Vanity grinned mischievously.

"But Papa smurf said…" Brainy was cut short when Vanity placed his mouth over his in a kiss.

The next day, the ceremony began. Everything was ready. There were tasty smurf treats set out, and there were flowers on every table. Seats were set up, with and alter at the front. Papa smurf would lead the ceremony.

Brainy was in a soft burgundy robe with blue trousers, while Vanity wore a purple robe with green trousers. Everything was just… smurfy.

"We gather here today, to join these two smurfs in bonding, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health till death do them part. If there's anyone who objects to these two smurfs being together, speak now or forever hold your peace."

"I do!"

Everyone gasped as Hefty walked up the isle.

"Hefty, what are you doing here!" Papa smurf demanded.

"I just thought I'd bring a friend with me."

Suddenly Gargamel appeared out of no where, cackling evilly. "Now my little smurfs, I have you now!"

Everyone shrieked as they tried to escape, only to be scooped up in a big net.

Brainy, Sasette, Clumsy and Vanity were the only ones to escape.

"Oh no, Pappy Gargamel is gonna' eat everyone!" Sasette cried, clinging to Clumsy.

"Don't worry Sasette, we'll think of something to save them," Clumsy tried to reassure the smurfling. "What are we gonna do Brainy?"

"I… I don't know…"

"There you are! Gargamel's been looking for you."

"Hefty! How could you betray us like this! How could you ever call yourself a smurf…!" Vanity cried.

"Hey, what can I say? I have a knack for ruining the fun. Hefty grinned. "So, Brainy, have any last words to say to you lover before I smash his smurfy head in?"

"Yah… run Vanity! Take Sasette and Clumsy and save the smurfs! I'll take care of Hefty."

Vanity nodded and they were off.

"So, Brainy… you ready to die today?"

"Not in your life, Hefty. I won't give you the pleasure of spilling a drop of my blood. Are you ready to die?"

"What make you think you could make a dent in me?"

Brainy growled and lunged at Hefty, punching him in the face, breaking his nose.

Hefty clutched his nose, blood flowing between his fingers. "FUCK!"

Brainy then knocked him off balance but Hefty grabbed on to his leg, bringing him down with him. Hefty rolled over, pinning him under his weight and smiled. The blood from his broken nose dripped on him, staining his robe.

Hefty chuckled. "I have you now."

Brainy frowned. "Not quiet." And without warning he kicked him the crotch. Hefty cried out in pain, clutching his wounded pride. Brainy kicked him off him and began to kick him in the stomach.

This is for Vanity and Smurfette and Clumsy and any other smurf you hurt!"

Hefty moaned in pain, rolling on to his back. Brainy picked him up the arm, nearly dislocating it.

"This is for me." Brainy punched Hefty, sending him flying in to a boulder, cracking his skull open. Blood seeped out of the open wound, staining his white cap.

Brainy walked up to the nearly dead smurf and cringed. He should kill him right on the spot… but then what would Papa smurf think? What would any of the smurfs think? Would they cower in fear from him? Would they admire him? Suddenly he heard Hefty moan.

"If you're going to kill me, get if over with… I've still won."

"No, you haven't Hefty… you've only condemned yourself… and I will not sink to your level."

"You're just going to leave me here!"

"Gargamel will probably come to find you… I'll leave your fate to him… or if not I'll just leave you here for the birds to peck at your filthy remains."

"Fuck you, Brainy!"

"Goodbye Hefty." Brainy said in an acidly sweet way just before he left.

"So Azrael, what do you think we should do first? Boil them?"

"Mreow!"

"Bake them?"

"Mreow!"

"Or put them together in one big stew?"

"Mreow!"

Sasette, Clumsy and Vanity looked in to Gargamel's shack in horror. What were they to do? Without Papa or Brainy's magic, they had no chance against Gargamel.

Brainy; Vanity hoped nothing bad had happened to him. If Hefty ever killed him… he wouldn't know what to do. "Clumsy, Sasette, somehow we have to free the smurfs!"

"But how?" Sasette whimpered, still clinging to Clumsy for dear life. (LOL got some ClumsyxSasette going here)

Vanity thought for a second then, "I have a plan!'

**To be continued until next chapter…**


End file.
